Highlands Laboratories


Clitoral Stem Massage

“The clitoris is located at the top of the labia above the vagina.  It consists of a rounded area or head, called the glans, and a longer part, called the shaft and is is covered by a “hood” of skin called the clitoral hood. Depending on the sensitivity of your partner’s clitoris and the amount of natural lubrication, you may need to apply additional lubrication before beginning the massage.  You will almost never want to touch her clitoral glans directly without your finger(s) being lubricated.

You will be massaging her clitoris using one, two, or three fingers, depending on the size and prominence of her clitoris.  If you are able to locate and feel her clitoral shaft with your fingers, you will use your thumb and index finger.  If she has a well-developed clitoris, you may want to use your thumb, your index finger, and the finger next to that.  If you cannot grasp the shaft and glans of her clitoris because it is small or hidden, you will use just the tip of your index finger, or perhaps your thumb.

If you can grasp her clitoris with two or three fingers, very gently grasp the shaft of her clitoris with your thumb and index finger.  Gently slide the loose tissue covering her clitoris around, primarily back and forth, getting a feel for the shape and firmness of her clitoris.  Determine how much the tissue along her shaft slides around.  You do not want to grasp the glans at first if possible, but if her clitoris is small, you will not be able to avoid it.  As you slide your fingers back and forth along her shaft, the hood should also be sliding back and forth, stimulating her glans.

If you cannot grasp her clitoris, place the tip of your index finger on top of her clitoral body or hood. Gently move the tissue under your finger around in small circles, or back and forth, to stimulate her clitoris.  You should feel the firm structures of her clitoris under your fingertip, when she is aroused and erect, even if her clitoris is really small and hidden.

Place your thumb and forefinger around the clitoral hood, and, while lightly pinching the clitoris, gently roll it around between your fingers.  Pull the hood up, exposing the clitoris and gently blow on it.  Then, with the lightest touch, use a lubricated fingertip to stroke it in different directions to see which she likes best.  Try side to side, upward strokes, downward, or circles.  Some women love a light genital tapping. This brings blood to the surface and charges the nerve endings.

If she is enjoying what you are doing, just continue in a steady rhythm.  As she becomes more and more aroused, you may want to slowly increase the amount of pressure you are applying, but always be gentle. The speed of your strokes may vary from very slow in the beginning to possibly faster as she nears orgasm. Your fingers should always be grasping the loose skin covering the body of her clitoris, causing it to slide back and forth along the shaft.  Continue until she reaches orgasm.

As soon as she has an orgasm switch to a very light stroke, as her clitoris is likely to be very sensitive, or move your fingers from her clitoris to her labia.  Maintain physical contact with as she recovers from her orgasm.  After a couple of minutes, you can either begin again or stop.  However, you should ever stop the massage abruptly unless she reports she is too sensitive to touch, in which case, caress her vulva or inner labia for few minutes.

Though she may experience orgasm quickly and easily, it may take practice and time for you both to get comfortable with this technique.  The only sure way for couples to figure out how to give and receive a clitoral massage is through open minds and experience.”

From “Tantric Sex: A Guide to Tantra Lovemaking Secrets and Practices”

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